How To Tell Family You’re Eloping in 2025

6 Tips on How To Tell Family You’re Eloping in 2025

CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING THE BIG DECISION TO ELOPE!! I know it can be scary to make that decision when it comes to your wedding day, but it will be so worth it. I mean, having an intimate and small day all about you and your partner, doing the things you love instead of throwing a party for everyone else? YES PLEASE!

But there’s one thing lingering in the back of your mind… telling your loved ones. Will they be excited? A little surprised? Maybe even a tiny bit crushed? I get it! This is a big (and scary) conversation. But take a deep breath, because you can share your news in a way that feels good, honors your decision, and (hopefully!) brings your family on board. Let’s dive into how to tell family you’re eloping in 2025!

Tip #1: Tell Them In Person Instead of Digitally!

It can go a LONG ways to tell them you’re eloping in person instead of over the phone or through a text message. Invite them out for coffee, visit them at their homes, whatever makes you and your partner the most comfortable! Speak from the bottom of your hearts and show them how excited you two are to have made such a big decision! That excitement is CONTAGIOUS !!!

Tip #2: Explain Your Reasons for Eloping to Them!

This is completely up to you, and while you DO NOT need reasons to elope, it can help them to understand your decision. Explain to them how you want to put money towards an experience and traveling somewhere new, or to avoid being in the spotlight, or literally any reason that made you decide to elope!

Tip #3: Tell Them AFTER You Get Married!

If they tips above freak you out or you don’t think that your friends/family will take it well, just tell them AFTER your elopement and honeymoon!! You need to do what’s best for you both. If it makes you less stressed to just do whatever the hell you want without judgement from your family, don’t tell them until after!

BONUS TIP: Create a photo album of your elopement experience for them to keep!! So they can live through that day with you.

Tip #4: Include Them In Your Elopement in OTHER Ways!

If it fits your vision for your dream elopement day, think about including them into the planning process!! This is a great way to still have them feel included into your elopement, without having them physically there. Here are some of my favorite ways you can include them:

• Go wedding attire shopping with them!
• Allow them to help you pick out your florals/colors/etc!
• Have those closest to you write letters that you read on your elopement day.
• Facetime them on your elopement day!
• Hire a professional elopement videographer/photographer and host a party back home after your big day to show off those stunning photos and videos!

Tip #5: Have an Announcement Party After You Elope!

Instead of just telling everyone you eloped after the fact, consider throwing a party when you get back!! This is the perfect chance to show off your elopement photos, have everyone watch your elopement video (you could rent out a private movie theater even to do this!), and allow them to celebrate that with you!!

Tip #6: Remember That This is YOUR STORY and YOUR DAY.

No matter what you and your partner choose when it comes to telling your family and friends, remember (always remember) that your elopement is about you and your partner. That’s it. End of.

THIS IS YOUR STORY.

YOUR DAY.

YOUR LEGACY.

I can only hope that those tips above help give you that guidance to make the right decision with how to tell (or not tell) your family and friends that you’re eloping!

Handling Tough Reactions & Pushback from Telling Your Loved Ones

What to Do If Your Family is Upset

Not every family will react with instant excitement and that’s okay. If your decision to elope comes as a surprise (or even a disappointment) to your loved ones, here’s how to navigate the conversation with empathy and love:

• Give them space to process. Your family’s initial reaction isn’t always their final one! They might just need time to adjust to the idea before they come around.

• Use reassurance. If they feel left out, remind them that your decision to elope isn’t about excluding them. It’s about choosing a day that feels right for you and your partner. Try saying:
  “We love you so much, and your support means everything to us. We’ve chosen to elope because it feels like the most meaningful way for us to get married, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t an important part of our journey.”

• Offer ways to include them. Even if they won’t be physically present, there are so many ways to make them feel involved. (More on that in the next section!)

• Stand firm in your decision. At the end of the day, this is your wedding. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or permission to get married the way that feels right for you!

How to Include Family in Your Elopement (Even If They Won’t Be There)

Just because you’re eloping doesn’t mean your loved ones have to feel left out! There are so many sweet ways to include them in your intimate experience, even if they aren’t physically there. Here are some ideas to help them feel connected to your day:

• Have them write letters to read on your elopement day. Ask your family members to write letters or record voice messages for you to open on the morning of your elopement. It’s a beautiful way to feel their love and support as you get ready!

• Share a pre- or post-ceremony video call. Whether it’s a quick “We did it!” FaceTime right after saying your vows or a special call the night before, a little virtual moment can mean the world to them.

• Incorporate a family tradition. If your family has a special wedding tradition like wearing a loved one’s jewelry, carrying a sentimental keepsake, or reciting a meaningful blessing – find a way to weave it into your elopement day if that aligns with you!

• Ask them to contribute to your ceremony. If you’re having an officiant-led ceremony, you can include a recorded reading, a special message, or even a song from a loved one. It’s a meaningful way to bring their presence into your day.

• Send them an elopement announcement or keepsake. After your elopement, surprise your family with a handwritten note, a photo from the day, or a keepsake (like a pressed flower from your bouquet or a copy of your vows).

• Celebrate with them later! Plan a cozy post-elopement dinner, a backyard reception, or even just a champagne toast with family when you get back, because who says you can’t have the best of both worlds?
  
• Go shopping for your wedding attire with them! Let them be in on some of the planning process.
  

Eloping is an adventure, and telling your family is just one part of the journey. If you need help planning a day that feels exactly right for you, I’d love to be part of it!! Let’s make your dream elopement experience come to life together!